Wednesday, December 5, 2007

I Farted On Santa's Lap

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62SUfLfO6tM

This song is probably the funniest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. They play it on 104.7 KISS FM every morning and I die laughing every single time I hear it. Let me know what you think about it. (You might wet your pants! Seriously! Be really careful!)

"I Farted On Santa's Lap"

Mom made beans for dinner

You know I ate 'em all

She said come get your coat on

We're going to the mall

You're gonna visit Santa

And sit upon his knee

But all that I could think about

Was how not to cut the cheese

Waiting there for Santa

I thought that I'd explode

The gas bubble grew bigger

With every "Ho, Ho, Ho"

Tried my best to hide it

Thought I was doing swell

But when I sat down on Santa's lap

He hollered "What's that SMELL!!"

I farted on Santa's lap

Now Christmas is gonna stink for me

I farted on Santa's lap

Now I'll get $H!+ under my Christmas tree!

I asked him for a baseball

I asked him for a bat

I asked him for some ice skates

But I'll get none of that

I asked him for a lot of things

I'll have to do without

'Cause when I sat down on Santa's lap

I let one slip out

I farted on Santa's lap

Now Christmas is gonna stink for me

I farted on Santa's lap

Now I'll get $H!+ under my Christmas tree!

On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed

Without a sound

Went down to the living room

Just to take a look around

It was then that I saw Santa

Next to the Christmas tree

His arms were full of presents

And they were all for me

Put them in a pile

Got up to turn around

And blew a fart with such great force

Our tree almost came down

And so I'll always cherish

That special moment when

I realized even Old Saint Nick

Rips one now and then

I farted on Santa's lap

And Christmas didn't stink for me

I farted on Santa's lap

And Santa left one on my Christmas tree!

5 comments:

•stephanie• said...

AMELIA! now, really, is that the spirit of christmas? that is not how you were raised. or is it?

chris+amber said...

LOL...thanks for typing out the lyrics. Too funny and I can totally picture you peeing your pants at this song. I'll leave it at that! :o)

Melis said...

Bwaaahaha! Too funny! You toot (no pun intended)!

Sue said...

I want to get the CD for the grandkids....my daughter hates it even when I say the word fart, but I like to encourage the grandkids to talk about those normal bodily functions - they would get a real toot out of this...maybe even learn the lyrics and sang it to their mother.....thanks for posting the words...I haven't heard it, but I will have to try and get a CD...it will make my Christmas complete!!!!!

Unknown said...

So you know... lunch is a given.... in fact... I am hoping to get at least 3 or 4 out of you while I am home... and I love your blog- it makes me happy. No it doesn't- it makes me jealous- who am I kidding!